I don't know what to insert here.

Hi my friends. I am blogging. Today's post is going to be a wordy post instead of a one with photos. Actually, I am also not very sure what I should blog about now. Some of my friends may know what problems I am facing in my life right now. Perhaps I should blog a post every day and update on my feeling and stuffs.

Today is day 3 already. I am not very sure whether I am feeling better either. Yeap, indeed, I didn't cry that much today as compared to day 1. But sometimes, I just suddenly feel so emotional and I just feel like breaking down. Just like today, when I am out with Kan and Cheng. I was initially feeling very emotional already, and when we were just about to talk, I just broke down.

One problem that is really troubling me is jealousy. I am just so damn jealous of everything now because it is so different from last time. I know that no one can probably tolerate this, and I am just too dumb to not give anything up now. But all I am praying for now is to get this problem settled as soon as possible. *Cross my fingers*

My itchy fingers can't stop me from seeing Facebook and Instagram. Yet everytime I see something, I get so upset and depressed. Really thankful that my mum is so understanding towards this issue. Thanks to my friends to for listening to me and just being there.

Besides that, I have been feeling so mood-less and bored every day. I just realized that I led a very boring life because I don't really have much interests and I don't feel like doing anything also. I used to love night time a lot and sleep super duper late and wake up super late either. But it is amazing nowadays that I always wake up around 7-8 plus am. I think my sleep for day 1 to day 3 is actually equal to my one day sleep. That is so not me man.

I have no appetite either and I eat so little nowadays. Today I ate a more proper meal - hot dog bun. I still didn't have the appetite to finish though. I lost 2kg these few days btw. It is just like a wow.

Bye for today. Praying for a miracle.

I am 18.

Just a week plus ago, I turned 18. Yes, 18. Like finally, because I get so frustrated whenever I find jobs and they tell me that I have to be 18. And of course, I will be legal to drink, drive, club, or whatever. There was this period that I really wanted to go clubbing very much. I feel that was a really childish thinking that I had. Right now, I no longer want to go clubbing any more. Maybe just chilling at a pub is good enough. :)
18 does makes me feel more legal, especially when Lionel is turning 23 this year which is pretty old. Can't wait to turn 20/21 though. However, by then, I will probably dread getting older each year because one of my biggest fear ever is turning 30. My gooooodness.

So for my birthday, I went out with Lionel. Nobody celebrated my birthday for me this year sobsob. I didn't even eat any birthday cake. But it's okay. That is not the point, but Sunday is my lunar birthday. CHU 8.

We didn't do much actually, but everything was much better than expected. Really appreciate all his effort because he is not that type of 'romantic or sweet' person. I was really glad that he came to Bedok on my birthday and he actually surprised me by carrying a......

so girly, but in a sweet way.

Just one photo of us before I end this post.

And also thanks en for the birthday present! She is so youxin and always prepare present for me every year. I believe I will receive more belated present and anypows hoho. Thanks to my family for the angpow too especially when I came home to this on the eve of my birthday! so sweet.

present from en (Jia En) and angpows from parents, dagu, ergu, xiaogu and annie gugu!

Ending of with a photo with en during reunion dinner.

Cousins and relatives are coming over tomorrow. Looking forward to more angpows and present! :p cheers and happy lunar new year. yes, i love to gamble during new year too!