the past.

I don't know what to insert here.

Hi my friends. I am blogging. Today's post is going to be a wordy post instead of a one with photos. Actually, I am also not very sure what I should blog about now. Some of my friends may know what problems I am facing in my life right now. Perhaps I should blog a post every day and update on my feeling and stuffs.

Today is day 3 already. I am not very sure whether I am feeling better either. Yeap, indeed, I didn't cry that much today as compared to day 1. But sometimes, I just suddenly feel so emotional and I just feel like breaking down. Just like today, when I am out with Kan and Cheng. I was initially feeling very emotional already, and when we were just about to talk, I just broke down.

One problem that is really troubling me is jealousy. I am just so damn jealous of everything now because it is so different from last time. I know that no one can probably tolerate this, and I am just too dumb to not give anything up now. But all I am praying for now is to get this problem settled as soon as possible. *Cross my fingers*

My itchy fingers can't stop me from seeing Facebook and Instagram. Yet everytime I see something, I get so upset and depressed. Really thankful that my mum is so understanding towards this issue. Thanks to my friends to for listening to me and just being there.

Besides that, I have been feeling so mood-less and bored every day. I just realized that I led a very boring life because I don't really have much interests and I don't feel like doing anything also. I used to love night time a lot and sleep super duper late and wake up super late either. But it is amazing nowadays that I always wake up around 7-8 plus am. I think my sleep for day 1 to day 3 is actually equal to my one day sleep. That is so not me man.

I have no appetite either and I eat so little nowadays. Today I ate a more proper meal - hot dog bun. I still didn't have the appetite to finish though. I lost 2kg these few days btw. It is just like a wow.

Bye for today. Praying for a miracle.

I am 18.

Just a week plus ago, I turned 18. Yes, 18. Like finally, because I get so frustrated whenever I find jobs and they tell me that I have to be 18. And of course, I will be legal to drink, drive, club, or whatever. There was this period that I really wanted to go clubbing very much. I feel that was a really childish thinking that I had. Right now, I no longer want to go clubbing any more. Maybe just chilling at a pub is good enough. :)
18 does makes me feel more legal, especially when Lionel is turning 23 this year which is pretty old. Can't wait to turn 20/21 though. However, by then, I will probably dread getting older each year because one of my biggest fear ever is turning 30. My gooooodness.

So for my birthday, I went out with Lionel. Nobody celebrated my birthday for me this year sobsob. I didn't even eat any birthday cake. But it's okay. That is not the point, but Sunday is my lunar birthday. CHU 8.

We didn't do much actually, but everything was much better than expected. Really appreciate all his effort because he is not that type of 'romantic or sweet' person. I was really glad that he came to Bedok on my birthday and he actually surprised me by carrying a......

so girly, but in a sweet way.

Just one photo of us before I end this post.

And also thanks en for the birthday present! She is so youxin and always prepare present for me every year. I believe I will receive more belated present and anypows hoho. Thanks to my family for the angpow too especially when I came home to this on the eve of my birthday! so sweet.

present from en (Jia En) and angpows from parents, dagu, ergu, xiaogu and annie gugu!

Ending of with a photo with en during reunion dinner.

Cousins and relatives are coming over tomorrow. Looking forward to more angpows and present! :p cheers and happy lunar new year. yes, i love to gamble during new year too!

Just a year ago.

   

This is me a year ago, FAT. 

probably because I am well fed and working.

Us a year ago.

And Us in Jan 2013.

Time flieeeeeeeeeeees. 

Can't wait for new year. 

Look forward to seeing my couz. Haven't seen them in a year. 

There is always this ang moh guy that I find super good looking and hot, I finally found out his name today. He is RYAN REYNOLDS! so goooood looking!

I AM SICK. OH NO.

I have been sick for 5 daaaays! This is probably the longer record that I have created in my entire life.
I was absent from school the whole of this week. Not exactly great because I felt so uncomfortable.
My throat hurts like balls, and then I had fever, and now my throat is so damn itchy resulting in me having to cough every 10 seconds or even lesser. Yeah, you will find me super irritating/noisy/passing the virus if you are around me.

BUT HELL, I HOPE I WILL RECOVER SOON. I HAVE BEEN MISSING A LOT OF GOSSIPS, SCHOOL WORK, GROUP PROJECTS. But phew, thanks to my group mates for the effort. :)

I need to update my blog soon. So much work in school and exams are coming. BOO.
My 18th is coming, YAY! And Chinese New Year too! ANGPOWS PLEASE FLY TO MEEEAAAAZ.

Year 1 is ending in about a month or lesser. Time flies. Can't way to get out of poly.

Goodnight.

Happiness?

Haven't been updating for a month or slightly more than that already. It is the school holidays again and just one more term before the end of year one. I seriously can't wait to graduate from Polytechnic. I am not happy with my life there. 

Today's post is going to be a random one. Recently, I have been feeling rather down because of some stuffs. So I kept thinking and asking myself, am I happy? I used to think that I am super contented with my current life. I have everything a teenager probably wants, I used to think. 

Happiness? I don't know whether I am really happy. I sure am, to people. I believe I am always cheerful and talks a lot and laughs a lot. But recently, I just feel down. 

While looking through the photos that I took during my trip to ChiangMai and Bangkok, I feel that I am actually quite lucky. 

You see, if I am an elephant...

I have to listen to whatever my trainer says. I have no freedom.

I have to allow people to ride on me.

I have to perform and shower in dirty water.

I have to get tempted by yummy bananas just to perform for the audience.

I have to draw and show my talent every single day, so boring!

I have to carry humans for free, while my owners earn the money.

I have to tolerate because it is really painful because all the weight is "tied" to my butt.
I have to poo and pee and in water and then step on my own poo and wash my legs in my pee.

I have to allow humans to take photos of me. They look cool, but I look tired.

OKAI. All the photos are taken during my trip. I went for Ox-cart riding as well. So here you go.

So poor thing. They get caned when they get lazy :( :( :(

You see the huge bump on the neck/shoulders? It is probably due to the entire weight they have to carry. 

My life is not that bad after all. 

i don't know what to insert here.

Oh hello. I am feeling so happy right now and I finally got the time to update my blog because I have no school tomorrow. It is a super greaaaat thing because I am supposed to have lessons from 9am-5pm tomorrow. Happy Deepavali peeps, thanks to the different races in Singapore, we often have public holidays. Not that often thoughhhh.. I still love Lunar New Year the best.

This year really flew by. Can't believe it is November already. It it just one a half month more before 2012 ends. So scary how fast time flies. And oh ya, not to mention, most of the O level students already finish their papers. It was just my turn last year!

School is pretty busy this sem! The workload for this sem is a lot and the amazing fact is that school holidays are in two weeks. I know right, I just started school like a month ago. This means that my year one poly life is ending soon. Just in 3 months time, to be exact. Even though I was the one who was so excited to enter polytechnic, I won't say I enjoy it a lot. I actually can't wait to graduate from Polytechnic! I am actually quite looking forward to University. Sounds pretty near yet far, I am growing old real soon.

My birthday is in like less than 3 months! 7th February in case you forgot. I will be 18th. Doesn't feel very special but I will be legal to go drinking and clubbing and smoking and gambling hahahahahah. all the bad things, but it is not like I want to do those things anw. I am more looking forward to going drinking at a pub because a pub seems like a really nice place with a very nice environment that I will like.

Oh ya, and my modules this semesters include Mathematics, Digital Visual Design, Gen-ed2, Database management system, Web client design and Social Media Marketing.

I kind of like Mathematics but the topics we learn are pretty tough :( I don't quite understand. Somehow, I miss Kan because she always taught me Mathematics in secondary school :( Digital Visual Design is pretty ok because we learn photoshop. The project part sucks though because it involves a lot of thinking, creativity, art and photoshop skills. I suck at art, oh shit. Gen-ed2 is pretty ok, my lecturer is this dude with some really weird ascent. Sometimes I just feel like punching his face, but he is not that bad. Database management system sucks, it is so boring and I don't understand anything. I don't like the lecturer too. It is this really old woman and she is so fricking whiny! She talk non-stop even when she ask us to read the questions! I always get so pissed off at her. Web client design is actually pretty interesting because it is HTML stuffs, that means we learn how to design our own websites. And again, it requires creativity for our projects. Furthermore, this module and the photoshop module is individual. But again, I dislike the lecturer which is my FT, she suck at teaching. The only good thing is she give us sweets. We are supposed to take one each but since she pass down the whole bag full of cheapo sweets, I will always be the badass who takes 5. win. Social media marketing is not bad, because we have to find a company to work with and help them promote their company. I feel like some business woman, but I don't get paid. :(

I haven't been seeing Kan and Cheng. So sorry! Ben xiao jie very busy with school work. MST is in two weeks if I am not wrong.

A little update about L. It is the 4th week he is starting work at Maybank already. I don't like him to work there and I hate his colleagues.

And oh, one of my aunt bought a condo a few years ago, not my close aunts, and we recently went to her condo for my grandaunt's bday celebration. the condo is at Tanah Merah and it is so tiny! my gosh!

I can't even upload my photos here. blogger sucks.

HI US, LONG AGO